If You Give A Senior A Time Machine

I reflect on her three years at Dartmouth, offering my perspective for incoming freshmen.

Hi, Class of 2028!

I know you’ve already been showered with welcome, but I wanted to add my own to the chorus. Freshman orientation is an incredibly special time. At this point, all that I have left of my first week at Dartmouth are memories that are a little fuzzy around the edges, along with vague feelings of excitement and novelty. I know that for some of you, this first week will be one of profound anxiety — especially when the realization finally hits that you’re actually leaving home to begin a brand new chapter. For others, perhaps this is a time of great excitement, and you’re rejoicing over some much-needed change and adventure. Most likely, you’re somewhere in between, feeling a mix of every emotion across that spectrum — I know I certainly did at various points throughout my freshman year.

When you are as old and washed up as I am — at least welcoming you ’28s certainly feels that way! — you will look back at this time in your lives with nostalgia. You will reminisce with friends about “that one time during O-Week when…” and giggle at the thought of even speaking to some of the people you met from that time. Things will change. You will change. 

That being said, there are many things about Dartmouth that I wish I knew when I was in your position three years ago. I’m the first in my family to go to Dartmouth — which you’ll find isn’t always the case for so, so many of your classmates — and I often wished during my time here that I had gotten some of this advice before I started. Dartmouth plays by its own set of rules. Here are my two cents. 

1. Belonging to a certain space — whether it be a certain major, club, sport, Greek house or society — should never be your entire identity.

You will face rejection at some point during your time at Dartmouth. As a reaction to that dismissal, or maybe out of insecurity, many people will make belonging to another space an outsized aspect of their identity, as if to say, “It has been vetted that I belong here, or at least somewhere!” It is an incredibly easy trap to fall into at Dartmouth, and imposter syndrome only makes this feeling worse. But do not forget that this is your campus just as much as anyone else’s. 

Additionally, many of these spaces are exclusionary by design, and it’s only natural to want to boast when you have gained acceptance. But not being a part of a certain space can also feel incredibly alienating. For some of you, this may be the first time that you are experiencing rejection. It can hurt, but know that rejections are common — everyone experiences them. So, if you don’t make the cut for a certain club your freshman year, don’t worry! Even though there will be people who will make being in XYZ club the core of their identity, remember that you are so much more than that. 

2. Be open to anything and everything (in moderation).

You are going to be wrestling with a lot of firsts during your freshman year. One of the great opportunities available to you at Dartmouth is the freedom to explore. You have been given four years to wear as many hats as you want and to meet a variety of similarly driven people from diverse backgrounds. This is an incredible opportunity, so take advantage of it! Go out of your way to meet new people — but don’t be too pushy — and take the time to try out things that may be out of your comfort zone, whether that means new clubs, activities, classes or even friends. Being willing to try something new will make your time at Dartmouth all the richer — especially in an environment that will constantly be throwing new opportunities in your face. So the next time someone you sort of know asks if you want to go somewhere you’ve never been to do something you’ve never tried, say yes. The worst that can happen is you don’t enjoy it; the best is, well, limitless. 

3. That being said, don’t overwhelm yourself. 

If it isn’t already apparent from my “carpe diem” advice earlier, I am someone who has really relished in meeting new people and trying new things during my time here. That is something I wouldn’t change for the world. But I also sometimes struggle with setting boundaries for myself and saying no. 

Always being ready for the next adventure cannot — and should not — come at the expense of your own well-being and personal limits. My freshman fall, I had the zeal and confidence of a fresh-out-of-high-school student and signed up for an introductory economics class, an intensive Italian language class and an upper level English seminar. I had never taken an Italian class before, but I figured that I could handle an accelerated class because of my background in French. And because I had taken a few economics classes previously — and naturally loved English classes — I thought I would be fine. I had no idea the level of academic intensity I had signed up for. Each one of my classes was difficult on its own, let alone combined. Needless to say, I would not recommend it. For your first term, try taking one difficult class and two easier ones — called “layups” in Dartmouth lingo — to give yourself time to get the hang of Dartmouth and the quarter system.

4. Your peers will teach you many things. Be open to learning from them. 

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what I’ve actually learned during my time at Dartmouth. Every time, I come to the conclusion that, while I have learned a lot in the various classes I’ve taken, I’ve learned just as much — if not more — from the people around me. Your classmates and friends will teach you more about yourself and the world you live in than you can even comprehend right now. 

I used to host these gatherings called “Mega Dinner” during my freshman year. It wasn’t an intentional thing, and the events only got named many months after they first started. Essentially, when multiple people would ask me to grab dinner on the same night, I would always struggle with saying no to someone to avoid upsetting them. Instead, I would say yes to both people and ask if I could bring a friend, and we would all have dinner together. Sometimes, the only thing those people would have in common would be knowing me, and it would be terribly awkward. But other times, they would find a different shared interest or be in the same class. Sometimes, that would be the beginning of their own, separate friendship. It was funny and silly at worst but the start of a budding relationship when it clicked. 

Make it a personal mission to branch out as much as you can. Be the person who just randomly knows so-and-so from a random excursion. Get to know the friends of your friends. Grab a meal with someone you’ve only met once. Host a Mega Dinner. This school is small, yet within each individual person there exists a world of information. And the beauty of Dartmouth is that you will never stop getting to know new people, even long after graduation. How amazing is that?

5. People will change, just as the seasons do. Take what is best from them. Leave the rest.

If you had told me freshman year who some of my closest friends would be three years down the road, I would probably have laughed at you. “That is so random,” I would say. “How do we even have anything in common?” 

You will remain close with friends from freshman year, but you will also have some relationships that ebb and flow during your time here. That was difficult for me to wrap my head around at first and, quite frankly, hurt very profoundly at the time. But it is only normal for things to change as you — and as others — do during your time at Dartmouth. Sometimes instead of growing together, you grow separately as your priorities and social situations change. Growing apart from your friends is always painful, but it is also an opportunity to get to know someone new. In fact, do not be afraid to get to know someone new! One of the most special parts about Dartmouth is the open attitude that people have toward making new friends. And once you make those new friends, cherish them— get to know them well, spend quality moments with them and love them for who they are. 

Just know that there is never a lack of people to meet on campus. My boyfriend is a transfer student, which means that I didn’t even know him my freshman year. Your life will entwine with everyone else’s in ways that you could never expect. Keep looking for the good in those around you. 

I just texted my friend that I hope our senior year will have the same energy and enthusiasm as our freshman year, and I meant every word. Savor everything that you are experiencing. As cliché as this sounds, I feel light-years away from who I was when I entered Dartmouth. In many ways, I am better for it. But I still have moments when I miss who I used to be. 

Perhaps my final piece of advice would be to not rush your time at Dartmouth. It will already go by quickly enough, and each year will bring with it surprises and access to new spaces and people. Just as no man can ever step into the same river twice, your time at Dartmouth will constantly be changing — and so will you. No two experiences at Dartmouth will ever be the same, and at the end of the day, it will be whatever you make of it. I wish you all the best with your Dartmouth experience.

Lots of love, 

Selin Hos ’25

[Originally published on September 4, 2024 on The Dartmouth’s website and in print in The Dartmouth’s 2024 Freshman Special Issue.]